FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
