Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
