Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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