my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My vagina is very pro this idea
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