We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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