I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
