Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize