omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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