We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
