i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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