Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
