Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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