What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
