Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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