Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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