All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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