so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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