Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
