She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
