does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
