I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
