idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
