Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
