Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
