I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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