Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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