ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
