i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
