she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
