I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
