I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize