Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This house was built for laser tag.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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