the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
