Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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