we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
someone owes me an orgasm
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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