Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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