Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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