I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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