I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
