You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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