After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
