Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
