you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
