..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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