If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
