I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
