you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
