I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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