ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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