Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
