Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
