she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
