I wish I could punch you in the face.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
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Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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