your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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