You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
