Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
